I'm trying to get out of my negative mind set.

I sighed, I shouted, I screamed and I smashed my rock hard bed for a while to get out all the pent up frustration. Pumped some iron to get those happy hormones into my body and now I'm sitting at my desk listening to some nice jazz. Still bloody tense, thinking of getting on the massage chair followed by sitting on my hot roof reading a book, half naked. That will keep those nanyang girls on their toes.

Anyway yes it is time to make the positive nice and big in my brain of doom.

The world
I am thankful that Singapore is safe
I am thankful that there is only one Singapore
I am thankful for the beauty of the birds
I am thankful for the beauty of the sky, sunshine, clouds, wind, leaves and flowers
I am thankful for women
I am thankful for animals and young children with their innocence and love
I am thankful for the internet
I am thankful for my material things
I am thankful for my nice bed
I am thankful that the router works quite well now
I am thankful for the tv
I am thankful for music
I am thankful for God, religion, hope
I am thankful for wrestling

Here's a great quote: Great emergencies and crises shows us how much greater our vital resources are then we suppose.

What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger, but what doesn't make you stronger will eventually kill you.

I think I understand how people feel when I go psycho, thank goodness I'm starting to learn what triggers my anger and frustration.

I think the study of human nature and communication has got to be one of the most important things to learn in life. Especially in relation to self.

What was the other? Hmm my dad was saying... The ability to see the trees in the forest. At least in his field of work where fast decision making, long working hours, analysis of information and prioritising.

Communication skills and being the best at what you do.

I'd add a good bunch of friends, back to books.

I am not good at holding things in but I wonder sometimes the consequences of those actions.

I'm a firm believer in better to do then to regret not doing. It's just better to be thick skinned and assertive then to just sit back and run through the situation in the brain over and over again.

I think way too much, I need to channel all this thinking into something positive.

So I shall say it out loud that I can forgive myself for hurting or making life difficult for others because I'm simply not comfortable with letting things which are important to me just wash away.

That felt good.

I also believe that my percieved weaknesses can be just as easily channeled into strengths, I just have to accept that I am not good at some things and decide whether it is worth the time, effort and emotions to learn how to be better at it.

I can't give myself the luxury of negative thinking. Slowly I'm learning how to control that reflex that is addicted to thinking about everything under the sun and fixing them.

I definitely am not one that can make everyone happy.

I am stronger than human instinct. Understanding that I can't change or control everything that is and not get stressed out about it.

The challenge is to find things to think about because the mind doesn't like to sit idle and video games just make it depressed.

I need some good stimulation, something that will build me up.

I shall read more into positive thinking.

Sleepy at 815. Time for bed.

Note to self: Don't let punks borrow your stuff.

Man I'm sleepy, after spending the whole afternoon running around camp, I'm truely glad that everything is over.

In typical SAF form, the Dental FFI was totally forgotten and paper work was lost. So fortunately the fellow Leong was quite nice about the whole thing and got me through, I got to know the dentist (who's a AC boy) and got the dental FFI done. I then sat down for about 2 hours waiting for Dr. Ang to see me for the medical FFI. Thank goodness when I come back in Dec, I won't have to do that again.

I also found out that PES E personnel are not totally removed of all national service liability. Well makes sense I guess.

I managed to get some difficult signatures for my clearance form. Including Col. Chio's, man he's hard to find...

Still have to go back one more time to return my camp pass, my 11B, my EZ-Link card.

Waiting on visa, ticket.

So I can tell Currie Hall.

Still have yet to get down to course material.

One last task inside my control. The others will require waiting.

Song has your ps2 games, Ray has your x box games.

I'd just like to reflect on this weekend before I think about what I'm doing today.

Mm, yeah it was fun in it's silly kind of way. Oh and gosh I ate so much... I better start taking this fit thing seriously. In terms of strength, I can do that killer workout from start to finish now, but taking the protein has made me abit bulky, maybe I should just finish this last bottle and lay off the stuff. I havn't lost any weight but gained muscle, which says alot about my desire to eat. Eating is goooood. Asss...holeeeee. Oops sorry Meet the Fockers rox. Anyway I better start adjusting my eating habits. Big breakfast, Medium Lunch and no dinner if possible, with salads/fruits/sandwiches twice in between breakfast and lunch. I don't really think it's possible to get to my aussie fitness level in this short time but no harm trying.

Call up medical centre, try and get Dental and Medical FFI done.

Call up unit, try and get as many signatures on clearance form as possible.

What a pleasant day, I can only pray and hope for the fulfilment of today's chores without hitches.