The biggest question of life is really, why are we here and when we die is there life after death.

These are questions that cannot be answered by natural things, they may be answered by supernatural things but as humans we all deal with it differently, some of us turn to God and the Bible, others to other things, those academically inclined look to even more things.

Then there are those like me who can only go so far as their spirit allows them to.

Do we have a spirit? In the ordinary sense of the word I do not know, but there is a "feeling" or "emotion" in my heart that wants me to be more than just a good student, a money maker or a "good christian", I do not feel the urge to be "holy" though I do wish that my addictions would take lesser and lesser of my time with my days.

The strength to remove my temptations is beyond me as I have tried time and again to remove them.

I can only hope that with time external events with which I have some control will draw me to more positive things.

These are from my perspective of how things are

So what can a man really do with his life other than to be content with his lot. You may look out for the greater good of other men, but they will hardly if ever acknowledge your help nor will they thank you for it.


A man can be intelligent to a point, but hard work to objectives which result in nothing more than extra money... seems meaningless.

Being a person that goes against the norm in the arts, also seems to result in nothing more than being a rebel.

So one can only hope to find some sort of passion in his life, and he must believe in it wholeheartedly, or at least delude himself into believing these things.

It is simply a question of certainty, one cannot be certain of a God. One cannot be certain that his efforts will result in success in whatever he does. One can only be certain of death and taxes as a great man once said (Benjamin Franklin?).

What a person is able to do beyond his mental and emotional capacity is to have an ability to persevere. He may fall from time to time, but he can grow the ability to push himself beyond his former limit.

But to what purpose? A passion for something.

My problem? I cannot seem to find a passion for life in the position I am in.

I could accept a decent job with a good pay in a stable country. That would be a decent life.

An uncertainty of finding someone to spend it with.

An uncertainty of children

An uncertainty of physical problems in those children, yes we should believe in God that he will not give these children physical problems, but if they do then you simply have to accept it or perhaps you did not have enough faith.

Life is uncertain and frustrating, risk is something that a person has to take to make more of his life if he does not accept his lot.

Risk.

Then a person eventually reaches the end of his rope and all that's left is himself, his past, his present and his possible futures.

Some are lucky to have supportive families, others are not.

I hope with all sincerity that there is a just and loving God out there, but a simpler hope would be to be lucky enough to find someone decent to spend these short years on earth with, doing something decent for the people around me, and feeling decent about it at the end of the day.